How a Break from Blogging Helped Me Face My Fear

The world outside didn't stop rotating while I was away from this blog. Without thinking of what will be my next blog post or what stuff that I should share I was able to connect somehow more on myself and learn to drive an ebike.

In an old blog post I have shared an experience about an accident that changed us. Even months later, a simple thing like a jeepney lurching forward could freeze my entire body. I was back in that terrifying moment of impact. The fear wasn't just a memory; it was a physical reaction. Both April and I had such reactions, it was more on a survival instincts per se. Therapies are almost daily back then and the we started doing the math every week on how much we spend on the fare alone. The cost of round-trip fares for Dyn's therapies was staggering. We were literally watching our hard-earned pesos float out the window on every tricycle ride, and the financial stress was a heavy weight on our shoulders.

Though we had a motorcycle when I was a kid, I never had a chance to learn how to use it properly. I also have issues with balancing so getting a motorbike as a mode of transportation is a no for us. A second hand car will be costly and I do not have a license nor the knowledge to drive a car. Well, I am an expert with playing Burn-Out Crash in PS2 back then but for sure it will not count.

So after careful consideration we got ourselves a brand new 3-wheel electric bike. On it's first few days with us, I didn't even touch it as I was afraid of driving it. What if I caused an accident? The very thing that was supposed to solve our problem had become a symbol of my fear.

We bother April's siblings to drive for us but since there are times wherein they need to attend other stuff I started to learn driving it.

The stability of the three wheels was a gift! Each time I drove around our quiet street, the fear in my chest began to loosen, replaced by a flicker of confidence. I am still afraid though that but that isn't as strong as it was before. I also tried learning more about the rules of the road, the signages etc. as I wouldn't want to stir trouble if I am the one who's handling the throttle.

As the days go by, traffic jams isn't something that I am afraid of. I am able to calculate easily how and where I should place my bike as it is quite small for it's size.

Because I learned driving, we weren't afraid anymore in being late at night outside. From the previous month's we were able to stay longer away from home as there's no rush that we might miss a public transpo to our home.

Indeed it was one of the best decision that we did as a husband and wife as it saves us some money due to extremely high fare and it provides us somehow more time to bond during weekends if time and budget permits.