CNF: The Regrets That Come After.

Sometimes I feel like realisation only comes the morning after we must have made a terrible mistake; it waits until we have both feet inside and deep into the mess, and then we realise how we should have done it and avoided being in the mess, but at that point it is already too late, and we can only wish we could turn back the hands of time, which is not always possible to do, and we have to find a way to deal with the pain.

"I am really in desperate need of money, and I don't know what to do." Dera said on our way back from class.

Source

"At the moment I am not financially buoyant enough to help you, but I wish I could." I responded with a sad face.

"I am really losing my patience; there is a lot I want to do before exams start, and it is putting so much pressure on me." Dera continued to lament.

"Exams will start in a week; just hang in there. After that we can travel home, recuperate and then return to continue our journey." I suggested

We parted ways; I went to my house, and he went to his, but how desperate Dera sounded left me worried because I had never seen him that desperate, and he sounded like someone who, if left alone, would make stupid choices out of desperation, and I rushed to pick up my phone and called him to hear some of the reasons he needed money, as he said the reasons were many.

Grrrrgrrr, the phone sounded in my ear as I waited for Dera to pick up.

"How far, bro?" which means "How are you, bro?" Dera asked, "We just separated, and you are calling. Hope all is well?" Dera added.

"Yeah, bro, all is well. I just wanted to hear from you some of the reasons you needed money desperately, and I hope you know what desperation can lead to." I asked Dera

"Bro, I know, but one of the major things I want to do is buy a new phone. There is a guy in my lodge that wants to sell his brand new Samsung S21; it is still new, and he is selling it at a cheap price, and I will not want to miss this opportunity." Dera responded.

"I see why; majorly it is the phone. If you can talk to the guy to keep it for you, when you have the money you can pay him and then take the phone." I suggested

"He needs money; that is why he decided to sell, so he cannot wait, and it is a first come, first served kind of thing, and I feel this is an opportunity I don't want to miss," Dera responded.

"Just don't do anything that you will regret out of desperation because you sound really desperate." I advised as I hung up.

I have seen and know that type of desperation and how it is an avenue for a lot of things that would never cross one's mind on a normal day to start running through their minds. I was worried because I know if he does anything wrong out of desperation, I will still be the one to console him, and if it is a debt, I will be involved in the payment, and the only way to avoid all of that is making sure he stays on track and does nothing to land us in that situation. I was still pondering the matter when my phone started to ring. I looked at the screen, and it was Dera calling. Seeing that calm, I had a lot running through my mind: If he has been able to get the phone and wants to break the news, or has he done anything to land us all in trouble?

"Bro, sorry I am calling you again; you must be tired of hearing my voice." Dera said as we both burst into laughter.

"No problem, once in a while we just have to be there for each other," I responded as our laughter reduced.

Source

"My mom just sent my school fee but I have a telegram group where they send in predictions of different football matches and even different games like table tennis and even basketball." Dera said

"Okay, what does all that have to do with your school fee?" I asked

"I wanted to ask for your opinion; I want to know what you think about gambling with my school fee to see if I can make more from it."

"Dera, Dera, Dera," I cut him while he was still talking. "Do not allow desperation to cloud your mind and cause you to do things you will end regretting. Since such a thing has crossed your mind, just quietly pay your school using the school portal now before you agree to whatever desperation is telling you to do," I advised.

I know what desperation is like and what it can cause one to do. I looked at my time, and it was already late. Going to his house to make sure he does not give in was not a good idea, as walking the area at an odd hour poses a risk to me and even to everything I will carry there with me. All I could do at that time was talk over the phone and know fully well that a desperate person only takes that advice that goes well with their desperation 95% of the time, and they are able to take that which does not align with their plans 5% of the time.

"I have heard you, thank you." Dera responded, and I could feel the lack of confidence and trust in that response.

We hung up the call, and I went on to do my assignments so I could submit when others are submitting and not have to beg the course representative to wait for me or do me any favours. After I was done with assignments, I just thought to myself, Hopefully Dera makes the right choice in his desperation, as I jump on my bed to call it a day.

The morning after, class was supposed to be by 8am, but Dera was at my door by 6am and woke me up from my sleep, carrying a long face.

"What is it?" I asked. "Are you going to class already?" I asked, confused.

"Kachi, I have messed up ooooo, Jesus. I should have listened to you. Now how am I supposed to raise money for my school fee?" Dera asked as he continued moving from one end of my room to another end.

"You later gave gambling with your school fee a trial?" I asked, turning to look at him.

Source

"I just realised how deep a mess I have put myself in; I should have listened oo." Dera lamented

"Before you gambled your school, what was the plan on how to raise the money back? Because I know you know that in gambling you can lose your money; you should have had a plan." I enquired

"There is no plan, none at all. What will I tell my mom? How can I raise over a hundred and sixty thousand naira in less than a week?" Dera kept asking questions.

This is exactly why I tried to stop him; I knew any mess would definitely come back to haunt not just him but me also. The morning after gambling he realised what he had gotten himself into, and the regrets and wishing he could turn back the hands of time were eating him up, as exams were to start in less than a week, and if he fails to pay before then, he will not be allowed to write any.