Think With Caffeine Log 3

On the first October 2018, I started to log my daily activity via twitter. I wanted to see my progress and my consistency to ever do something worthwhile. I was also more emotionally stable to start my life all over again. Therefore, the first log I write on twitter was :

First of October comes on Monday. Let's see how this month will pan out!.
Setting up trello
Decluttering my space
Resetting projects
Starting from ZERO.

Day 1
5000 steps
1000 words on book report I've postponed for a year
An hour of code learning

I started my life from zero, including my financial state. I started to minimize my interaction, caught up on my postponed school responsibilities, and back to programming.

And so, I develop a good habit. I walked minimum 1000 steps a day. I coded about an hour a day, I read a book and even so slow, I managed to finish The Beautiful and Damned from Fitzgerald.

Now, I am working on an essay about femininity during the roaring twenties. I love jazz age and how it resembles our generation. That is how it compelled me to write about it. I do not want to explore the American dream because it has been overlooked. Not to mention, there were to many essays about it.

However, I did not meet the goal to lost significant pounds. I lost only 5 pounds with my current vegetarian lifestyle. On the other note, mentally and emotionally, I have never been this happier and stable. Though, I had period of stuck in a rut and suicidal thoughts. I went through it all and very proud of myself.

I learned that I can actually focus and follow a boring routine. I can actually go to class again without having to drag myself from the bed. I learned many things along the way, as in fixing my priority and time management. Here are the short lists of things I have learned this month:

What I learned this month :
Focus and priority are important.
Time management is needed.
A setback should not be a discouragement.
Never spend 5 hours on youtube unless you are learning or making money from it.
Exercise 20 minutes and minimum 1000 steps is a must.
Get a proper sun light, go outside, take a deep breath, enjoy.

In another sphere, I would like to take you back to peek into my past.

I recalled in 2016, I wrote " I am beginning my life in a new chapter with an ivory blank paper, ready to be filled with adventurous stories. I wouldn't care about the ending, all I know, I want to make this chapter memorable and full of lessons.
I want it to be more adventurous, rebellious and blunt. It would definitely full of obstacles, pain, and sorrow but I know I could endure".

I wrote that after having an accident which alters my life. And I ventured on an amazing journey. Little did I know, that turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I had a new life full of adventures, sorrow, bitterness, joy, and every emotions ever existed. The ending was a mixture of agony and joy. The person that you are seeing now, is the result of that chapter.

And that chapter is called " paradise lost". It narrates my journey of searching identity and sense of belonging. It tells a tale of someone who's feeling alienated from the rest of the society. Not only it is also rich of travel stories and tips.

To be fair, I have only managed to write until three parts. I still could not recollect all the details I needed to write the next one. I have pictures and I think it tells more than words sometimes. But anyhow, that will be on my to-do list.

I did not regret tiny bits of things that happened to me. I am thankful for everything I had and have. Possibly, I want my next chapter to be daring, meticulous, composed but still thrilling. I will just let the story flow and see in the next 3 years. Perhaps I will come up with a collection of more compelling stories. Maybe this time it's not about self-journey anymore? we will find out together.

How has your October been? anything new?

Signed, M.