Friday Reflections

It's Friday and the weekend is nigh! Time to have me a whiskey breakfast and a cocaine lunch! Well, maybe not but it does sound like a hell of a way to start a weekend...

A month from today will be the 11 year anniversary of my last drink of alcohol. Holy hell, I didn't think I'd live this long. I've been listening to a lot of TK & The Holy Know-Nothings and The Last Knife Fighter lately and it's had me reflecting on what I call the bad old days.

Addiction is a mean critter. Actually, fuck that word. I feel like it is inherently pejorative and loaded as hell. Same with being 'in recovery', like you're permanently sick and damaged. Fuck that, I retired. Alcohol and all the other intoxicants out there have got to be Mother Nature's best and sickest practical joke. Here, have something you will really like. Surprise! You're really NOT going to like the consequences of enjoying it.

I'm not one for doing things by half measures, and drinking was no exception. If a little bit is good, more is better, right? When my drinking got to where I was averaging a quart of liquor a day I began to suspect there might be an issue... At that point my breakfast usually was just 6-8 shots of vodka, with a splash of orange juice if I was being fancy.

That may sound like a lot but it was what it took to make me feel 'normal', withdrawals are a stone cold bastard. Take the worst hangover you've ever had and make it last a week and you'll be getting close to the feeling. To make it even more torturous, you know the entire time you're going through it that you can make it all stop, albeit briefly, if you just have one more drink.

Quitting was so easy that I started doing it regularly. You don't realize how much alcohol is entwined in everyday life and culture until you start trying to avoid. Holy hell, it is everywhere! Apparently most of adult 'recreation' boils down to getting drunk and doing things.

I used to think I missed drinking. Nah. I missed the idealized notions I had of drinking. Too bad it only took attempting every possible way I could think of to achieve them and coming up short to realize that...

It always weirds me out when I tell people I haven't drank in x amount of time and they congratulate me. I know the people saying that most likely mean well but not drinking is all the reward and congratulations I need. For sure y'all wouldn't be looking at any photos of mine if it wasn't for that.

That's enough of a #fridayfreewrite for this week. Y'all have a good weekend and drink one for me! That's a bourbon, double, on the rocks