punchline Tag Posts Index

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Tis No Teen. Tis a Remoreselss Eating Machine

Cooking for teenagers is like trying to fill a black hole with a spoon. I blink and suddenly everything in the fridge is gone. I swear I just went grocery shopping.

My Bandwidth!

In our house, WiFi is not just an internet connection. It is a battleground. A sacred resource. A modern-day gold rush. And every single member of the family believes

Advice I Never Asked For

I am the proud owner of a couple of teenagers who firmly believe I need life coaching. From them. The same people who think pizza rolls count as a food group and

Texting, Texting, 1, 2, 3

There was a time when my kids used to hang on my every word. Granted, they were toddlers and mostly interested in whether I had snacks or a Band-Aid, but still.

Good Thing There Is No Law Against Dressing Badly

Not a picture of my actual teen... they look far worse. I love my kids. Truly. But when it comes to their fashion choices, I sometimes wonder if they are actively

White Knuckles: Teaching Teens To Drive

Teaching my kids to drive has been the most terrifying bonding experience of my life. I thought childbirth was stressful. I thought potty training was intense. But

The Great Escape

​ It was supposed to be a peaceful walk. Just me, the leash, and our dog who is usually more focused on sniffing blades of grass than chasing squirrels. I was wearing

How to Embarass Your Teen Without Even Trying

I have discovered a hidden talent. I do not need to put in any effort. I do not need to plan ahead. I embarrass my teenagers simply by existing. It is a gift. I

Who Moved My Cheese... And Every Other Edible Thing In The House?

​ I am convinced my teenagers have a black hole in their stomachs. There is no other logical explanation for the way food vanishes in this house. I go grocery shopping,

I Need Some Wineto Aid Me With FInancial Aid

​ Applying for college financial aid is like stepping into a game show where the grand prize is debt and the consolation prize is also debt. I thought the hardest

Curses! Foiled Again!

I used to think I was a pretty sharp parent. I mean I made it through college I can set up a WiFi router and I know how to parallel park. Surely I could stay one

Lost in Translation Part 2

​ Just when I thought I had accepted my fate as an outsider in the ever-changing world of teen slang, my kids upped the ante. They have now introduced a new level

Lost In Translation

​ There was a time when I felt pretty cool. I knew all the latest trends. I understood pop culture references. I could carry on a conversation without feeling like

Laundry

​ There are few things more terrifying than walking into a teenager’s room and seeing the state of their laundry. It is as if they believe clothing belongs in three

Sportsball!

Watching sports with teenagers is a test of patience, endurance, and your ability to decipher what on earth they are yelling at the screen. I naively thought family

Teenagers vs Grandma and Granpa

​ Every so often, I gather my teenagers, load them into the car, and embark on the grand journey to visit their grandparents. You would think I was dragging them

Attention Spa... Squirrel!

Once upon a time, my kids could sit through an entire movie without moving. It was a magical era when they would curl up on the couch, eyes glued to the screen,

Investing in Our Future

​ There comes a time in every parent’s life when their teenager decides they are ready to become a millionaire. For my kids, this realization struck after they saw

Get a Job!

​ There comes a time in every teenager’s life when they realize that money does not magically appear in their bank account. That moment happened in my house when