"Addiction" when we hear this word, most of us would think about cigarette, alcohol or drugs. Well, you're not wrong if you think like that because I used to think the same. But addiction is not limited to those things only. Addiction means something you know is wrong for you and you keep doing it because it's your habit now. Addiction can occur from anything, but I didn't know about this before because my knowledge was limited. I never imagined that a phone screen could slowly take control of my life.

I am a student and I have studies to do yet my biggest addiction was watching short reels. Even when I am busy I did not miss a day without watching reels. In the beginning, it didn't feel like anything because I was laughing and enjoying every bit of it. I used to check the explore options to see what's on trend then I would find something that's relatable to me or a funny video, after that one by one my interest begins to change. From one video to ten, then fifty. After spending a long time, I do realize that I'm exhausted and my energy is drained but before I knew it hours had disappeared.

Every day, I used to tell myself, "I'll watch for just for twenty minutes before my homework." To be honest, those minutes turned into hours. I won't lie but I already knew that, I was wasting my time, but I still decided to do it anyway. As I saw no harms in it. Well, I did feel guilty for not using my time for something useful. Then as time passed my books stayed closed while my thumb kept moving on the screen. My tutor would get mad as he saw I stopped completing my homeworks. Sometimes, I had to stay awake at night, because I didn't complete my homework for school. Even one day, my class teacher complained to my mom, that I was not attentive in the class because I was sleepy and kept yawning. However, I still liked scrolling and continued to do so.

But then something happened, two years ago. So, my younger cousin Zerin, had came to our house for a few days, so she had school project and asked me to help her. I agreed to her but I told her to wait because I wanted to finish one last reel. You can already tell what happened next, hehe. She was waiting for almost an hour but I couldn't not realized it and suddenly it felt like I was forgetting something then I finally looked up but she was not the in room anymore. I went to other rooms to check up on her as I had agreed to help her. Then I found her in the guest room there I saw she had already finished the project by herself.

I was already feeling guilty so I thought I should apologize to her. I really don't care if it's my junior or senior, I feel if I'm wrong somewhere I should be sorry for it. So, I took her hand in my hand and I said, "I'm really sorry, Zerin. Honestly, I couldn't realize how much time has passed." Then she smiled and said, "It's okay, sis. You can help me next!" To be honest, if I hurt someone unintentionally it hurts more than when my mom lectures me. I'm an emotional person, so I do not like to upset people because I know how it feels like. I could feel that I had chosen a screen over a real person, which was not my intention because I am not that kind of person.

Later, I decided to think about this topic because it was getting out of my hand. I was asking myself that, "I knew it was wrong, why didn't I stop? So, it was my personal choice or was I trapped by my own habit?" Anyway, I think we can get into addiction the moment we choose to do it by ourselves. And when we start to keep repeating it everyday then it can become much harder to control. It is like taking drugs everyday and the body starts to get used to it. If you suddenly stop taking it then your body starts to react. No one gets addicted in the beginning so it's easy to change, but after doing it repeatedly every day, a clear trail appears. The consumer feels that it is natural to keep following. Moreover, they think it's not harmful.

So, was quitting my addiction was easy? Obviously it was not easy for me. I have failed plenty of times. I tried to delete the app but I couldn't because I need to research for necessary things sometimes. So, deleting the app was not possible. I promised myself I would stop, then broke that promise. But after a few months, I started to focus on the things in real life. As like cleaning my room or reading some books which my dad gave me. I had began to spend more time talking with my family.

So, in recent time I still watch short reels when I am free but they no longer control my life. I believe addiction is not only about choice or lack of willpower. The first step may be a choice but breaking free is our decision. In conclusion, addiction can be really bad but once we make up our minds, and stop looking for excuses, then we can easily start to break free. But it's not possible in a short time, it may take days, months or years. What matters the most that we will be taking a step ahead to break free.

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