At Last, I Stand Aligned
Am I scared of being in my own life, like I’ve been trained to be afraid, even if I’ve been offering all of my time to my body and mind, but I can feel my soul and peace should always be secondary,
Am I scared of being in my own life, like I never doubted myself like this before, I know I grew with pure sureness in myself, now like I’m always doubting myself, needing validation from the outside,
Am I scared of being in my own life, like I’ve been drained from the inside, giving my passions, my time to my future endeavors should always be on the side, never a priority,
Am I scared of being in my own life, I wanted to let go of this pain but you should totally offer 2x your effort in order to fight for your present, or to ground yourself to reality,
Am I scared of being in my own life, I wanted to push myself to do the best that I can do, to the most productive schedule I can do, but it still leans to what’s familiar, it’s leaning to where you used to feel comfortable…
Am I scared of being safe, I know it truly hurts me but why do I still being hurt is safer, why do I feel being tortured is a sign of being protected,
Am I scared of being safe, I know those routines aren’t for me, aren’t for my sake, actually nothing for my sake is given any importance but why do I need my rest be still a routine,
Am I scared of being safe, I wanted to remove the hurt, but why does this hurt feel safer but at the same time wrong, I know I needed this hurt to better me but how?
Am I scared of being safe, I hate the coldness, I hate the wind, it makes me feel alone, it makes me feel pain, it makes me feel uncomfortable to my own mind and to my own skin,
Am I scared of being safe, I know what’s in the finish line but it keeps the disillusioned fantasy be the hope to what the future holds,
Am I scared of being healed, I know I’m almost there but just thinking of the future makes me feel fear, makes me doubt the future, makes me doubt myself that I can survive this,
Am I scared of being healed, I know where pain is a direction I needed to see through myself, the lenses I’m too afraid to see, to feel and realize what I needed to face,
Am I scared of being healed,I’m down to my last drop of energy, I’m down to my last drop of hope to make something out of my life, I’m down and I just wanted to surrender everything to what is,
Am I scared of being healed, I know in my heart I’m more than deserving to not all to those bare-basic needs, I’m a person with dreams and potential, even if this is all what I’ve got,
Am I scared of being healed, I’m aware now, of all of the patterns, the fantasy, the highs and lows, and in silence I can see and feel clarity, just enough to heal and ground myself to my own reality…
Am I scared of being peaceful, Oh silence, protect me from being hurt, I don’t know what’s coming, but I know I’m much safer alone in silence than in my mind those times,
Am I scared of being peaceful, I wanted to protect what’s left of me, that fragile part that is left untouched, uninterrupted my your broken ideals of what love is,
Am I scared of being peaceful, I know I’m more than just an instrument of your fantasy, I’m a person just wanting the basic needs of emotion, respect and safety, is that too much to ask?…
Am I scared of being peaceful, never in my wildest dreams did I think that someone wanted me to not dream, to not prosper, to erase my whole self, to not be my authentic self. Aren’t you full yet?
Am I scared of being peaceful, and in the quiet I will survive, survive to these innermost pains, even if the whole world is against me despite all the pain, I know in my heart that I am standing in the purest alignment of my life.…
Watchwords:
In a poem I can breathe again,
Peace doesn’t need you to surrender to your pain
Can I be safe in my own thoughts and feelings
If only I can numb this pain, and erase it in my system
If only I could predict when is the next impact
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream:
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