Fly away thoughts

Sometimes I wish it would be possible to just fly away for awhile, get some space and chillout. I am guessing I am not the only one. With the state of the world and the conditions and restrictions most people have been living with for the last two years, it is no wonder that people are getting a little stir-crazy and behaving weirdly - weirder than normal anyway.

I feel it in myself - I am getting weird. Perhaps it is the lack of IRL socialization that is going on or, that I spend so many hours of my day sitting in front of a screen for work, work, work and play. I would like a little more "play" in my life, but I don't think I want to game anymore than I currently am, and perhaps I should cut back a little in the evenings - which I think I will do once I get the CPAP machine that should improve the quality of my sleep, so it makes sleep worth taking.

In the last 18 years of my life in Finland, I have moved living place maybe 8-9 times, travelled through much of Western, Southern and some of Eastern Europe - but more than that, I used to spend a lot of time out of the house with people, without it being work. The last couple years however has killed much of the social life, as even if the conditions or risks don't concern me very much, a lot of my friends are "quite a bit different" in their own approach to this, with some of hem almost becoming reclusive.

I can't say for sure at this point, but I do think that some of these relationships are going to be irreparably damaged, in much the same way that many "partner" relationships have been broken by untenable conditions. Some will argue that it is because the relationships weren't "strong enough" to begin with, but this is actually not necessarily the case, as pretty much anything when put under pressures they aren't made to withstand, are going to break. It is like taking a wine glass and pelting it into the floor and saying, "obviously not made well".

Even the "strongest" relationships are subject to conditions and none live in a vacuum, with the engineered and enforced conditions of the last couple years are anything but natural. This means that on top of the multitude of personal challenge factors, there are also all of the other aspects involved, with job security, health concerns, disruption to children's schools and care, inability to exercise freely, watch a movie, go get a nice meal, walk around without having to worry about how close you get, or if the person looking at you is judging the type of mask you wear.

All of these things add up and over time, they can have a severe impact on the way we experience our lives, which means it is no wonder that people are affected in many ways and are reacting in many ways. I believe that this is going to have ramifications for years to come and like many of the relationships, they might be irreparable.

Who is to blame then when so many of the things that are important to us are broken beyond repair - those who enforced the restriction or those who followed them? There is an issue that arises here as people will talk about the effects of bullying and because some people will snap under the pressure, bullies have to be removed. Well, who is the bully these days? Does that mean those enforcing their will upon others have to be removed?

Believe as you please when it comes to all of what has gone on, but the erosion of so much of our lives is going to require a reckoning of some kind at some point and I don't think it is going to be a pleasant experience. I think we are already seeing the effects of disconnection over the last decade or two and this period of time is just going to speed the spiraling downward.

But, perhaps some will be stronger for it too, where like the bullied in the school, they use their experience as a catalyst to improve themselves. Not everything put under pressure cracks, some are antifragile and strengthen, harden and become more valuable because of the crush. I wonder how many there will be who come out the other side of this pandemic better off than when they went in - and I am not talking about financially.

I am not one of them at least. It is not that I have completely fallen apart or anything, but these conditions are not of the type where someone like me excels. It is a survival approach trying to hold on, rather than a growth approach looking to expand and while I keep trying to do what I could before for people, I am starting to feel far thinner than I did earlier, because many people are far more needier than earlier. Rather than the isolation making them more independent, it has made them seek out support that just doesn't exist in the volume it did earlier, since there are so many drawing on the pool, so few adding in.

At some point, there just isn't enough social support to go around and then, the supports start to buckle under the pressure too, causing the roof to cave in and leaving the majority of people in need, with nowhere to turn, in a world that is constantly restricting the ability to find support. But, because we are now isolated cells, we don't see all of the failure going on, we don't see the faces of struggle after the remote meetings, we don't sit down over a coffee and ask, how are you doing?

So much of what makes a group of people a society, has disappeared in such a short time, where the only time strangers talk, is to criticize each other's decisions, because they are the choices that thee other has subscribed too. Logic isn't required, just the avoidance of discomfort and pain - and you not doing what you are told, hurts me.

The world will eventually move to a new normal, but nothing will ever be the same, because people have changed so much.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]