Conversations With Bud

Me: Bud! Stop bothering the gate agent and get back in line.
Bud: Forget all that...let me handle this. I'll get us upgraded before you can say "I'll have champagne with my caviar" today.
Me: No champagne. No caviar. No first class. This is Southwest. We are traveling no frills today, so don't hover.
Agent: You have a crate for this dog ma'am?
Bud: You call me the 'D' word? Me? A crate? Human, did you hear that? Are we going to have another airline incident here?
Me: Excuse me sir, I forgot to point out that this canine is a VIP.
Bud: Yeah, I am.
Agent: In that case, please feel free to board first.
Bud: Pssst...what does VIP mean?
Me: Very Important Puppy -- Now... hush up and get on the plane.