My Bi-Polar Thoughts

I have literally just been diagnosed with Bi-Polar and I'm still in shock, to be honest, but was kinda expecting it too.
One thing that always helped me was writing so I will be venting a lot lol. Hopefully, I don't drive people crazy with my muddled thoughts. Also if you know anyone with mental illness be kind to them it is a lot to process.

Growing up what did you say you wanted to be ???
A fireman? a magician, a famous singer?
I certainly didn't say I want to be an absolute nutcase!

This demon inside my head keeps influencing me.
Tricking me into making me think I am normal. Am I?
Normal that is, what is MY normal anyway? I don't know anymore but I will find out.

I don't want the demon to control me
To tell me that I can't love the people I care about.
I don't want my love to be toxic to anyone anymore.
And I will not be ashamed to ask for help anymore.

Every thought I have from this point on, are they my own?
Or is it the demon?
Will I know the difference?
Like a fish out of water my thoughts and emotions just flip and flop.
Happy one minute the next I'm not.

What a sick trick to make me constantly question my own behaviour.
I do know though I will fight against you.
You will not win my life it is still mine.