Week End Talks: Plagued and Buried

Plagued

I am plagued with a lot of stressors this week. It's like a persistent mosquito that keeps on biting and sucking blood out of me—only that it's my sleep and energy that are depleting. It's funny that I started this week with so much positivity because I'm already done with my mock job interview. But opposite to the laid-back week I envisioned, I'm constantly plagued by people who took advantage of my good mood. I almost broke down the Friday night, but I bounced back on Saturday because if I didn't, my efforts would be as futile as my wasted plans before.

Atleast I tried.

That's my mantra this week. Or maybe that's my attempt to gaslight myself that everything will be ok when in truth, it's far and almost impossible from being ok. Maybe the mosquitoes are more chill than I am now. Chill to the point they now plagued me with their humming as if mocking my tiredness. Silly me, this is the fourth time I mentioned plagued, and it's concerning because I will mention that again later. Plagued...there it is.

Buried

I'm buried with a lot of work and to-dos. To-dos that never got exhausted. Perhaps it's just me who's nearly at the brink of exhaustion. I don't want to complain, but I felt like I'm drowning if I don't. Plus, here's she...she who is supposed to lift us, but she chose not to. That's why she decided to further bring us down and bury us deeper. I don't know if it brings her happiness to see us miserable, but if it does, I hope she chokes on that happiness. Just joking..yeah I'm joking.

Jokes are half-meant.

Anyway, let's pretend I didn't say that. Maybe someone who knows me will rat me out to her. Ughhh, even here isn't my safe place anymore because they are here too. Or not? Perhaps they're also busy now. I hope so. These ramblings may sound odd to you, but I'm happy I'm able to release this bitterness. So to end this rant dump, I'm going to share a haiku I made earlier.

Eyes close, mind's talking
Thoughts begging to be spoken
Screaming in silence