Wait & Wait

Have you ever been left waiting?

I think this is the time to wait desperately—especially when you don’t have the certainty or assurance that what you’re waiting for is going to happen, is going to come, is going to take place—but when you have no other choice but to wait, you literally have to keep doing just that: wait and wait and wait and keep waiting. But believe me, as always, everything has a limit and a breaking point in this damn life we’re living, and this damn situation we’re going through. It’s very sad to know that some people seem to not give a damn about this and play with your feelings.

All this frustration stems from the fact that yesterday I spent hours and hours waiting for a woman who was supposed to interview me—first and foremost to get the job at a restaurant—but second, and even more importantly, because this woman wants typography, artwork, and decor for this place. Yesterday was the day we were supposed to meet so I could show her some designs and the styles I can create in terms of graffiti and art; however, hours and hours and hours, and she never showed up.

I’m at my wits’ end, running from one place to another, waiting for that message telling me, “I’m on my way,” “I’m here now,” “We can finally meet.” However, since they asked me to meet at a different location from where the painting work will actually take place, this already seems a bit strange to me. Let me tell you that I haven’t received any further response—I haven’t heard anything else—and I don’t know what to do.

It’s literally one of the most frustrating things you can experience—waiting without certainty, waiting without hope, waiting without faith.

It’s barely 7 a.m. on this Sunday. My roof still hasn’t been repaired. I have a beam that might fall on me. I have very little will to live, and I’m very, very tired of being in this situation. If I ever disappear, believe me, I am fighting, and I’ve been fighting for quite some time, but I’m also too tired of continuing to be treated like trash.

Have a great weekend.