Turning 21 || LOH#251

Today, I turned 21. I have always regarded 21 as the age where life becomes more serious, more purposeful. And honestly, it feels like it. I feel a pivot. A mental change. A becoming.

During the last few months, I made list of things I did when I was 20. I reflected on some of the decisions that I have made and how much I have changed and I am so proud of how far i have come. I am so happy that I clocked the age of 21 feeling fulfilled that I lived 20 well.

This week’s prompt asks us to share moments in our life that we are most proudest of, where we stayed true to our core beliefs. I am a big believer of forgiveness. No matter how hurt someone or something might have caused me, I still believe that everyone deserves forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the first true step to healing. Though, healing is not linear, it’s a back and forth process. But along the way, you feel better, lighter and freer. There have been moments where I have felt betrayed and unloved. Moments where I have been made to feel less of myself by the people I once held dear. In that hurtful moment, I thought that I would never forgive them for their words and actions, but as days went by, I found myself letting go. I found myself forgiving. I couldn't keep holding on to the hurt. It was eating at me. And as I forgave and let the hurt go, I found peace and serenity. I forgave because I knew that people are capable of mistakes, including me.

Another core belief that I value is self awareness and self growth. I often take ample time to reflect on myself. My shortcomings, weaknesses and strengths, my reaction to some situations and how I could have handled it in a better way. In the past, I was often quick to anger. And I was judgmental. It had affected my relationship with people lots of time. But after taking time to think about how this trait has affected me negatively, I decided to change. Yes, I still get angry easily from time to time, but I have learnt to let of steam in healthy ways instead of lashing out at people. It takes a lot of strength and willpower to control one’s anger but I am better for it. My relationships with people are stronger because of this. So it's worth it.

I am so proud of moments where I have forgiven countless times. I am proud that negative things do not bother me as they used to. I am proud that I am not the same woman I was last year. I am happy that I have put my beliefs to action constantly and gotten positive results in return. I am proud of the fact that I clocked 21 a better person. And I hope to keep growing in strength, in grace and in love.

Thanks for reading.