Expectation...

Weekend Engagement Week #284 - Topic #1

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As rational and conscious, human beings after all, we are always evaluating and judging the behavior of other individuals, and of course, we pay even more attention to it when they react to our own being. Something that is impossible is not having expectations about people, and as I was saying, this becomes even more important when we are connected to another person. If I had to give an explanation, I would stick with the idea that our brain always tries to stay one step ahead, deciphering patterns of behavior, physical or emotional characteristics, all with the goal of protecting us from the slightest sensation of anxiety or stress, as if it were a survival instinct that has evolved over the centuries.

Personally, I can say that having high expectations about some people has cost me a couple of disappointments. Primarily because, just as our brain protects us, it also sometimes craves a mild dose of dopamine, and this can be disastrous at times. Having high expectations about a third party sometimes gives us the sensation of having found something extraordinary, and thinking this way occasionally gives us a certain degree of happiness.

I believe that, over time, we learn to live with this discord, but the most positive thing I’ve been able to take from it is learning that every person is a different being, each with their wonderful traits and their not-so-wonderful ones. Being a good person does not guarantee receiving reciprocity in return, it’s simply that everyone is capable of giving, being, and feeling in their own way. This doesn’t make anyone less good. It takes time to truly get to know someone, and even then, we are far from fully understanding them. But what I do believe is that this behavior should not affect our own way of being and thinking in the slightest. We must simply accept that every being is different, and the only ones from whom we can expect everything we want... is ourselves.

Thank you

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