Day 52 - Impending, Firey Doom

Alright, well this fire is getting serious. I can notice a significant change in my breathing ability, even from yesterday; which was already bad.

I tried to get up early to take the bus down the hill to skate, use the gym and hit the not-so-overpriced grocery store. As it turns out, I don’t know the westbound bus schedule, so I kinda fucked up and got a much later start than I wanted to. So, I left the skateboard in the van and hopped on for the gym and discount mart.

I recently signed up for this gym after finding out how cheap of a membership I could get through work. The facility is amazing; and I desperately need to get back in shape. Especially with my first marathon coming up later this year.

So after a quick workout, a run on the nearby track, a swim and a shower, I hit the bargain market for some oats and some nuts and checked my phone. Since I am down the hill, I didn’t receive the notification that the town i camp and work in has officially hit the “be ready to evacuate” level. Less than 10 miles away, the 35,000+ acre wildfire barrels towards us.

Curiously, as I am sitting at the transit center waiting for the bus, I still haven’t heard anything from work. The bus system has stopped running the final leg up to my other workplace; and the whole area is ready to evacuate… you think maybe you’d think about shutting down the restaurants early? I might be crazy, but a couple thousand bucks isnt worth your employees livelihoods. Or a couple hundred bucks; let’s be real. We thrive on tourism, the tourists have literally ran from the hills. It’s just us locals left. And thats not many.

Despite the bus not knowing whether or not it was running the full scheduled route due to the fires, I managed to make it to work; just 12 minutes late. And man, I feel like shit. I’m 90% sure it’s from the smoke and ash, because this is an unusual type of feeling like shit. As I suspected, it is DEAD up in here. A couple hours in and we’ve had maybe a dozen tickets. It sounds like they’re gonna shut down the restaurant tomorrow- unless a miracle occurs. On my break, I took a look to see if the radar for the fire had been updated. It had not; but a new one has appeared about 15 miles south of the one lingering east of our town. Not far north, another fire is destroying neighborhoods in Spokane, Washington. The entire Pacific Northwest is at a severe wildfire risk and looks to be for the rest of the summer. Chat, we may be cooked. Literally.

It seems as though uncertainty is consistently following me. Of course, I do it to myself in some regards; i.e. moving into a van with zero plan. But, per usual, literally the moment things start to settle, life finds a way to throw a curveball. A good friend of mine called me yesterday about visiting, which I need more than anything; but I don’t know if there will still be a place to visit. Am I gonna have a job next week? There’s a possibility the fire takes the town; then what? Do I stick around and help rebuild? Do I throw in the towel and move on? Unfortunately most of the places that are realistic for me if so, are also in danger of fires for the remainder of the summer.

Or am I just over reacting? Being dramatic? Everyone around me seems so nonchalant about this. Maybe it’s because they already survived this five years ago; the town evac’d, and everything was fine. Yet, I can sense a tinge of uncertainty in their voices this past few days. They aren’t all that convincing in their calm demeanor anymore.

The iPhone pictures really don’t do the smoke any justice, but I keep taking them so I can at least look back and remember this strange time. We shut down the restaurant an hour early, and I was outta there two hours earlier than a usual close. I am EXHAUSTED; it could be from the exercise, but I think the smoke is taking a toll on my mental and physical health. But, I am on a fuckin mission. A mission to improve myself, to keep the ball rolling, and to find some sort of happiness and meaning in this complicated and difficult society of ours. So, after I slink back to my van, run to the rest area to wash my face and brush my teeth, I have presented the white flag to the day, and lay here trying to breathe enough to fall asleep and get up early to do it all again. I will catch the morning bus, I will skate before the gym, and I will continue this weird new impulsive life I’ve forced myself into.

Sweet dreams everyone 🖤