DIY TUTORIAL - HOW TO TURN A PANTHER INTO A TENNIS RACKET

silentdiscourse

Published: 10 Mar 2018 › Updated: 10 Mar 2018 DIY TUTORIAL - HOW TO TURN A PANTHER INTO A TENNIS RACKET

DIY TUTORIAL - HOW TO TURN A PANTHER INTO A TENNIS RACKET

Want to really stand out on the tennis court? This fashion forward, yet high performance tennis racket will not only improve your game but also make you the envy of every athlete to have ever competed at Wimbledon!

If there's one problem in the world today, it has to be animals. There's just too many of them! This Do It Yourself guide will not only give you the back swing you deserve, but you'll also be doing the planet a much needed service.

FUN FACT

Did you know there are as many as 120 to 230 panthers still remaining in Florida?!?

That's a lot of tennis rackets!!!

Step 1

The first step requires the acquisition of your building materials, a.k.a.

A PANTHER!
You want to make sure you get a nice and young one as their material is more resilient and flexible, in effect giving you that "over the top" power serve. Old panthers tend to be more brittle and don't provide the quality necessary. Also, they're going to probably die soon anyway. Just to play it safe you might need to bag yourself a second panther.

Step 2

Now that you've removed one more pesky predator from the ranks of the living, it's time to make your racket strings. You're going to need an industrial strength meat grinder and some glue (preferably Elmers).

First you need to soak the panthers corpse in glue overnight so it begins to marinade into the cellular structure, giving your end result more tensile strength. Next, you just toss the panther, whole, into the meat grinder. Once the strings begin to come out of the meat grinder, lay them out flat and let them cure overnight.

VOILA! You just made the strings for you brand new tennis racket!

Step 3

The third and most dangerous step, is procuring the frame for your tennis racket. You have to go to Canada during winter (which is all year long, so July works) and you need to befriend yourself with the locals. Drink lots of beer, talk about maple syrup and say "EH" a lot. This will garner their trust and you'll begin to blend in. Once you've established yourself into their ranks, pick the weakest looking Canadian you can find (remember, these people can change a transmission out of a vehicle on the side of the road in 40 below degree temperatures), punch him in the head and steal his snowshoes. Quickly escape the country before the mounted police catch you or you get trampled by a moose.

You've done it! Just thread your panther strings into your snowshoes, slap a bit of baby seal oil on that puppy and you're good to go whack some balls around!
Great job!

Silent Discourse signature.gif

Here's a great resource for any other new steemies like myself,
with a ton of awesome and helpful people.
Definitely go and check them out.
@newbieresteemday @greetersguild

Leave DIY TUTORIAL - HOW TO TURN A PANTHER INTO A TENNIS RACKET to:

Written by Silent Discourse

On a journey of knowledge and experience.

Best Posts From Silent Discourse

We have not curated any of silentdiscourse's posts yet. But you can encourage our curation team to review posts by visiting them regularly and by referring other readers. Because we give priority to frequently read content.

DIY TUTORIAL - HOW TO TURN A PANTHER INTO A TENNIS RACKET