What Do You Do When Your Future Falls Through?

Hi! Welcome back to another episode of my life falling apart! Because I genuinely cannot and will not care anymore, it’s time to leave the next big chapter of my life to you guys because I refuse to put any more effort in LLLLLL :)

It is midnight (or it was at the time of writing this) and I am wanting to sleep for the next ten years, so I figured this was a perfect opportunity to capitalize on my problems.

Most of you don’t know I was planning on going to Senegal on a trip for at least a three-month period. What was I planning on doing?

Mind your business.

No no no I’m joking. Ok seriously, I was planning on volunteering for an organization that, for the sake of my privacy, shall remain anonymous.
However!!!! Once again!!!! Something that I was planning on!
Something to take my life into its next chapter!
Something big and new and exciting!

Has once again been snatched! Taken from me! The rug pulled from under my feet. I have lost my footing. I am falling again.

However, thankfully enough, I haven’t been as unfortunate to have all of my options taken away.
I’ve been presented with a new opportunity.

I can go instead to Spain or Belgium.

I feel like I’m in the Matrix, and I’m offered the red or the blue pill. Except there are no defined results or consequences to taking either one of those pills. It’s like choosing heads or tails, but there’s no wrong answer. Or everything is at stake and I have no way of knowing.

Instead of coming to my own conclusions based on careful dedication and research, I’m going to leave it up to you.
Yes, you. The reader.

Spain? Or Belgium?

Now, I know what you’re thinking. If something goes wrong and I hate whatever the end result is, I’m going to blame you.
And that’s exactly right.

Joking, joking, calm yourself.
At the end of the day, I’m going to officially decide on what’s best for me. But I would love to hear what you think about it.

Here are some positives to both of the options I could settle on.
If I go to Spain:

1. I have a couple of friends that live there, ones who I haven’t seen in quite some time. During my spare time, I would love to catch up and see where life has taken them!
2. Additionally, Spain is a country full of rich culture and unmatched beauty that I would love to experience for myself
3. One of my close friends speaks Spanish very well and would be able to help me learn and get confident before my departure.

If I go to Belgium:

1. Given that I was preparing to go to Senegal, I’ve tried to teach myself a rudimentary knowledge of the French language (emphasis on tried). The three most widely spoken languages in Belgium are Dutch, French, and German. It would be easier for me to continue my studies in French to prepare for the little amount of time I have left before departure, rather than cram a whole new language.
2. I could learn more about a culture I have little to no exposure to. While this may not be the best motivation, how many people can say they have visited Spain versus people who can say they have visited Belgium?
3. The waffles.

Writing this all out and taking the time to see the positives has really helped me to make peace with my circumstance. It’s not the end of the world, it’s still a blessing that I get to go. This trip will help expose me to some options of what I might want to do with my life.

Thank you for taking the time to read the dramatic midnight rantings of a nineteen-year-old woman child :) I promise I’m not this theatrical in real life [yes i am.]

Stay Weird

-Remy 🦑

P.S.,
I leave you with the wise words of Jeff Goldblum

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