What is this Sensation?

Kling AI generated image

Over the past few years, I've had a strange sensation except it has only happened in several instances. I don't even know much about the actual moment itself, when it does happen.

It Goes Like This

I can distinctly remember two times when this happened. I was sleeping when all of a sudden, it felt like something took hold of me. I cannot describe at all in any more detail but it's like I instantly knew something or someone was there. Whatever it was, it felt malevolent but also purposeful, deliberate. It must be evil because I instantly get the urge to scream. It is as if a very intense fear came over me. No, not fear. Terror. As if you are about to lose your precious little life right then and there. Have you ever felt that? The first time it happened, for some reason I tried screaming and calling out to my oldest sister. We don't even live together. Even if we had, it would have been of no avail. I could open my mouth and even feel my body tense up but, try as I might, no sound would come out. And then it felt like I woke up a little later.

The Second Time

This one was more recent. It starts the same. A sudden and overwhelming malicious presence disturbs my slumber as it painfully does who knows what to me. This time, however, as I'm struggling and trying to scream, I clearly remember that it is already morning because my room is well lit up. I am really really trying to scream, calling out to my dear mother who is actually thousands of miles away. In my struggle to 'break free' and possibly also make some sort of noise I also fell out of bed. I 'woke up' some time 'later' on the bed.

A Few Things to Note

There seem to be no obvious indications that these are "just dreams" and yet there is nothing that definitively proves that they are not. To me, it almost feels like an illusory hybrid of both dream and reality. That being said, I don't really think it is sleep paralysis either. There are certain details that seem similar but ultimately I think the symptoms of the sleep paralysis phenomena are fundamentally different from this. I can still move, but there seems to be a kind of resistance. While I don't see a physical manifestation of anything at all, it is as if I can feel an overpowering presence and somehow I know for a fact that no matter what I try to do...it is hopeless.

There's also the question of why I even try to cry for help if I'm alone. Despite being alone, the specific people I would call were especially far away. It makes sense actually. I was not actually calling for help.

In that moment of desperate struggle, I know it is useless to resist but at the same time I'm panicking. It's like I'm dying, being killed. My soul is being siphoned and maybe in what I believe are my final moments, all I can do is focus on my mother with all that remains of my very being.