Mein Führer, Apparently You Appeal To Queers, Gays, And Blacks Now

by Martin Bormann, Head of the Party Chancellery

Berlin, October 29 - Mein Führer! I bring news from eighty years hence!

Yes, Mein Führer, our scientists have managed a peak into the mists of the twenty-first century, long after this war ends. It seems... you might want to sit down, Mein Führer.

It... it seems that your wisdom and insight resonates most robustly with the homosexuals, the negroes, and the ones who... well, they deny that standard sexual categorization applies to them altogether, I guess is how one might put it. I confess not to know very much about that phenomenon, but yes, probably a Jewish plot.

Which brings me to the the Schwerpunkt, if you will: that lot of vermin hate the Jews too.

Please hear me out, Mein Führer. I understand how strange it all sounds - which is why I asked further questions - I admit the answers raised more questions to which I have no ready answers. I mean, isn't it the Jews creating those degenerate phenomena?

It seems... it seems there is a Jewish state - no, Mein Führer, no, it's in Palestine, which, yes, I was surprised too, but didn't have much time to get hung up on that because of bigger questions, and if we have time, perhaps a cable to Herr Al-Husseini is in order. Well, this Jewish state... has attracted the venom of every Jew-hater on the planet, whether because it's genuinely evil, being Jewish and all, or because it's a convenient rallying point for radicals of all types, and who doesn't already have a predisposition to hate Jews?

But, that's the thing, Mein Führer: the people most vehemently, vocally, and culturally opposed to Israel, as it's called, are... Marxists. I'm confused, too! Things go topsy-turvy in the next eighty years.

I have now developed a horrific fascination with how it all happened - I guess will happen? - but there was no time to clarify. An Allied bombing destroyed the future-gazing equipment and killed the researchers who might be able to answer my questions.

The most troubling aspect, Mein Führer, is... is this an outcome of our present course of action, or of a course of action we choose to take as a result of this knowledge? How can we know?

We cannot, of course. But once we win, we can... Mein Führer?

Oh, I see, time for that meeting about the progress toward General Steiner's assault...

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