Origin Story

At the beginning of everything, there was the big bang that created life. And we came out of the sea. Like amoebas and shit. Like lizards and whatever. And tiny primates were a thing a first. Lorises, Lemurs, and those stupid shit monkeys that you see every now and then at the zoo. And then primates, like bonobos and chimps and gorillas happened.

And then, shit started to get real.

Like, hominids are a real thing. Ya, so like homo erectus bro… they started leaving footprints in shit. They had fucking upright, bipedal footprints of like homonids of like walking on lava and shit. Not like hot, hot lava, you know what I mean?

You know what’s weird though, why are primates now not figuring this shit out. But I think they are though, they’ve entered the stone age. They use like tools and shit. How come planet of the apes hasn’t already happened?

There’s more though. Lucy bro. Lucy was the first base human.