Some simmering hope with sobering up.

Sober September went well enough and now I'm thinking of starting sober November with the one exception of thanksgiving wine. If that goes well, then it's possible to extend that to December or atleast New Years Eve.

I think there is a good chance that these bitesize sober months can eventually become a throughout the year thing and I might actually be finally done with alcoholism.

Just for context, I've been a (heavy) drinker for years. Sober September was a real test and while I have not limited myself this month, I've found that I've only had any during weekends. I think it could be better still if I start making it every other weekend. It's just hard to transition from where I am, to where I want to be given my relationship with alcohol.

It's an ingrained habit that is hard to break. I want to get to a point where its like, a special occasion thing, instead of just constant.

I tend to be alright with wine. Hell, with wine, I can have a glass or two with dinner and call it a night. Its just when I indulge in a less healthy way, its not wine but more something like Vodka.

In some ways, I'd be better off a pothead. But weed makes me antisocial and closed off and alcohol actually does the opposite. Unfortunately, I've come to use alcohol as a crutch for my persistent social anxiety. It's hard for me to even imagine wanting to engage in social settings without it. When I take time away from alcohol, I also take time away from people.