Covert Narcissist - Baiting technique

Hi everyone.

As I'm struggling in my personal life, I'm "peeling back the onion" so to speak, of my narcissist wife. day by day, layer by layer, her disorder is becoming clear... as my life spirals down. But I am in an OK place mentally, spiritually, so I'll be alright, but it will not be easy to leave unharmed.

One thing that has become clear to me lately is what I'll call "narcissistic baiting"

The narcissist will get their supply, by watching you suffer. I now realize the "baiting" that's been going on. You see, a narcissist will drop comments, hide items, tell lies, and make up stories, re-invent the past, all to prepare for future conflict. And when they need their "fix", the conflict is already prepared in advance. Then they will bait you in, by showing you a small amount of love, or kindness, then when you are vulnerable, bring up a pre-planned conflict.

This weekend, I came to the realization, during a very tense, obviously pre-planned argument, that while I was suffering, my narcissist spouse was thriving, she got a boost of energy, while mine was depleted. That, is psychic vampire-ism.

It's impossible to prevent baiting, impossible to prepare for, except by being emotionally strong.

I am awoke to the simple fact now, that a narcissist will never change, can never change, and will do or say anything, ANYTHING, to get their fix.

Thank you for reading, and for your concern