What did I learn so far?

A few months ago, I turned 26. It was such a strange feeling to have grown older and turning 30 loomed on the horizon. It’s only in recent times, I’ve taken time to reflect things I did the past 25 years of my life. I am not sure how many people here are younger than me but I hope if it reaches those demographic, you can learn a thing or two. But if you’ve surpassed this stage in life, maybe you have a better advice and could leave it in the comment section, that would be greatly appreciated.

I learned early on that age itself is just a number, but it wasn’t until recently I truly understand the meaning of patience and taking things at our own pace. I wasn’t really wired with patience or taking time. My upbringing placed importance on early achievements. I grew up surrounded with expectations, where a kid has to know how to read by age 4 and arithmetic before they reach age of 6, attend pre-school before 5 and learned to speak multiple language early and skipping a few grades during their school years. In short, those are the thing that was more celebrated. The hall of fame would be graduating from university before the age of 20. Somehow, This upbringing instilled a restlessness, especially when things I do take longer than I anticipated. However, I’ve come to appreciate the beauty of allowing things to unfold in their own time. I’ll expand on that soon.

Society expectations and what not....

To begin with, I grew up in an society where it’s implicitly expected that by the age of 22, a girl should be married, has her shit together, baby on the way and is living in a stable home potentially, hold down a job too. As the only daughter in my family, for the longest of time it felt like a burden. Only recently, I have come to the realization that my own parents don’t hold these expectations for me. Still, the influence of society and peer pressure managed to get under my skin.

If I were going back to my teen days, I would tell everyone to take time before they even consider getting married. I've noticed that many of my friends even family who married early aren't necessarily content with their choices, many of them, still yearn to travel and cherish more moments with their friends and even advance their career. Raising children is a complex thing and not to mention financing it all, that takes some guts. When you think about it, they can be overwhelming and still, How could anyone possibly embrace such early marriage ?

At this stage in my life, I've finally come to understand the wisdom behind the statement by neuroscientists that "The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until age 25 or so." You can believe that notion or challenges that idea but it personally makes sense. Back in my late teens and early 20’s I didn’t really think much about a lot of consequences of my actions.

I was often surrounded by adults much older than me, which made me feel like I was lagging behind, in a positive way, and that I should have already have that certain knowledge. In retrospect, I realize this was yet another misconception I held.

Today, I believe that everything has its own timing, and sometimes, prematurely knowing something can be detrimental. As our rational thinking isn’t yet fully developed, it’s challenging to assess risks and consequences without the clarity and wisdom that comes from experience and age. Still, the takeaway is that, try as many things as you can and don’t be afraid. But know that, sometimes the consequences of our actions may cost us dearly.

The realization also mirrored my journey of questioning the status quo where in the past, I haven’t found my answer. But now, my actions and beliefs only started to make sense. “ Why do I do the things I do, why I believe in the things I do, and why am I even doing it?. But among all the decisions that was profoundly impactful was my experience in the blockchain. It’s a life-changing experience which also shaped a lot of the things I believe in today.

Blockchain and betting my future....

Throughout my late teens and early twenties, I spent the majority of my time learning about blockchain and bitcoin. I built one project to another, connecting with individuals who shared the same passion, and betting some of my future on it. While some of the things I did bore fruit and others did not, it was meeting the awesome people that I deeply admire made the journey worthwhile. I have learned invaluable lesson and remained in a good relationship with the people I came across in the space.

Since I grew up journaling my life on the blockchain, all of my advice from my early 20’s and late teen sounded laughable now. The way I look at money, time, and things, and I remember @clayboyn’s question 6 years ago on time was just an example of it.

“What would I do if I never had to worry about time?’

Now, that question is not something that I see just on the surface. Does it mean that we have infinite time? Or is it rather we have 24 hours and what are our choice to spend on it? Is time here considered subjective or objective?

My responses at that time was absurd and comical. They were like scattered puzzle pieces with the potential to form a coherent picture. But because of age and experience, as well as wisdom that I didn’t have, I hadn't yet figured out how to connect them. Now, I do, I have a better understanding of them and at its core, my choices still revolve around pursuing passions and things that truly resonate with me. And again that was only a fraction of things in my journey here for 6 years.

Pursuing passion that sometimes doesn't pay the bills....

I often talk about the importance of pursuing passion, can or does it pay the bills? The reality is that there are times when it doesn't. I've faced moments of financial struggle, enduring sleepless nights and twisting my hair how to make things work. Yet through it all, I've held onto the wisdom my mother told me : that life is a series of ups and downs sometimes we’re up and sometimes we’re down. This belief has given me the strength to persevere even when my passion didn't yield the results I had hoped for. So, work on your passion while you can and if you can. Maybe one day you get success with it.

Relationshitship

Much of my early adulthood was also marked by dealing and navigating the toxicity within my family and relationships, even confronting my own inner struggles. In hindsight, this period was one of the most trans-formative experiences in my life as well. It allowed me to mend broken relationship with my family, reconcile with my past relationships, and evaluate my friendships. I made the decision to cut off connections that were detrimental to both parties involved. At the same time, preserving connection with friends who held deep significance in my life. The takeaway is that, it can be a living hell dealing with them but time heals and as you grow older, you get better at it.

This one is pretty important. I have to say that if you ever contemplating of ending your own life,it’s not going to solve a problem. I am not saying it just because, I experienced it first hand.

I made it to 26, that was quite a stretch that I though I wouldn’t be able going beyond 23. Everyday felt like a living hell but I pushed through. I learned that the problem will still be there and I won’t get the closure I needed.As selfish as it sounds, I spent my early adulthood dancing around the idea of suicide. Even today I still struggled with voices that tells me to kill myself and vividly instructing me how to do it. I knew how to do it, I did some of it. But the problem, the past, it doesn’t matter how far I go, they are going to be still there. Only until recently, I fixed them one by one and I get better at pushing through the nasty talk inside my head. So, it gets better, that’s the takeaway.

Travel and what not....

I won’t really advise younger people to prioritize traveling all the time as soon as they can. That is quite a contrary advice, as in retrospect, I would approach it differently. I think it’s best to first focus on nurturing our passion, build more strong financial foundation, and love ourselves more before going on a global adventure. It would help a lot with having more established life situation since not everyone we met are at best interest and heart. I think that going around at 20 vs going around at 25 are different. But know, that you’re never too late to go out there.

At around 22-24, I begin to hear more often about death. From close friends, to pets, to acquaintances, I seemed to be hearing and witnessing it more often. At first, it was difficult and I didn’t know to grief but in the end, I learned to take my time. That grieving was part of life too.

I did not end up as I thought I would be and I used to think that my life was over. But it wasn’t. Like in game, somehow we have the restart option too. We can start a new dream, a new passion, and even more so, leverage the lessons from our past.

In the end, after those long walls of text, the essence is basically pursue your passion, work on it, be fine with death, failures, and when life gets hard, know that somehow it gets better.