Are you qualified ?... Really?...

......Well, I think I am - although it's very hard to tell.

Why?

Because, after searching that big search engine on the internet for bloody ages , I've yet to find any kind of accreditation system that would give me a nice piece of paper to prove my aptitude....

What subject was I looking for ?

' How good of a sex crazed raver, are you' ?...

Please note: I did not have sexual relations with these girls in the back of a camper van, with my girlfriend at that time...

I have to say that at this point, that my 'sex craved raver' days are firmly in the rear view mirror - but my qualifications to said subject are still very valid.

And then I came across Hive account@frot 's post asking for sex craved ravers !
'Perfect' I thought - I'm qualified....

But am I .....Really?...
That is the question.

How the hell can you say that you are, without any recognized accreditation system?

I suppose the best you can do is to apply for the job, giving the necessary details of your past experiences in this very specific, niche area, and hope that it will suffice.

So, without further ado, here is a brief overview...

Please note:
It will be missing many relevant details due to the fact that, as a hardcore raver, many of my experiences are not readily accessible in my memory because of a condition commonly known as 'off yer fuckin' face' .

While this condition is obviously a prerequisite for any hardcore raver, it also means that many experiences are destined to be lost in the ether of MDMA time...
Not sad at all, but very true nonetheless.

RAVING EXPERIENCE:

I spent many hazy nights all over the world pursuing my vocation.
This includes:
Mojave desert raving.
'The Love parade raving' .
*Although I/we were day late to the main event - due to raving in the warehouses of Munich for a few non stop days of madness.
Driving to Berlin from Munich , in a vehicle with the steering wheel on 'the wrong side' (a converted UK ambulance made into a camper), and with a comedown from the depths of hell itself - it necessitated frequent stops, and sleeps.
Hence the late arrival.

Honk Kong, Australia, USA, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Italy, France, Holland, Ireland, UK, are countries that I've been a sex crazed raver in. (I think there are some others ones to that I may have missed).

I was an international sex craved raver!

SEX CRAZED EXPERIENCES:

Anywhere,anytime, and with anyone of the opposite sex with a pulse, basically.(pulse not essential)
....Dance floors, toilets, sand dunes , and innumerous back seats of different vehicles are all locations I've pursued my vocation. (including many public utility forms of transport , including airplanes, trains and buses ).

My duties as a sex craved raver included organizing the transportation requirements for other sex crazed ravers , the successful procurement and distribution of essential items, and the ensuring that those of the opposite sex never felt unloved.

If you require any further details, please feel free to ask.
I'll will, to the best of my ability, give you as many graphic details as you need , until you either nip off the the bathroom for ten minutes, or vomit copiously over the keyboard*.

*Both are acceptable courses of action in the eyes of an ex, sex craved raver.

Please see photo's as supporting my CV : (faces are hidden to protect the innocent debauched) .

As any hardcore sex crazed raver will attain to, this photo would not have been possible without a night of extremely hard partying, and raving.
*This was after a night in LA and a Paul Oakenfold gig , circa 1997, when he was cool.

(references Hive account@dandays - who's gigs I think I went to in LA at some point , but due to mdma fuzziness, cannot guarantee).
Hive account@por500bolos may be used for references also - although I never went to any of his gigs - a real authentic raver can tell another authentic raver at 50 paces - that's science!

Have I got the job ?