Wrong Diagnosis & Yeah It's Worse!

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Well just goes to show..... do not research a preliminary diagnosis with google!

Tuesday I had my first appointment with the Dr that's treating my wound issue & also my cancer surgery as a matter of fact. (small town USA)

I learned that i had my diagnosis wrong. It was in fact invasive duct carcinoma & there was tge possibility it's already gotten into my armpit nodes but that won't be known until after a lumpectomy & node biopsy are performed which will be occuring Jan 17, which is next week. Results which will be back around the 22nd of this month. We also won't know what stage I'm at either until those results come back.

I dunno bout you, but the term invasive makes me a bit nervous & does nothing for my cronic anxiety....

Tonight i am eyes wide open & unable to sleep at the moment. I bounce back & forth between painting shells & playing games on my phone.

My mouth & lips show the tole the anxiety's taking on me. Chewing my mouth like crazy....
It's not just me though. It's a family trait. My siblings do it too.

I know I'm just rambling here...
I'm resorting to use Steemit as a way to vent going thru all this. In a way...it's like a support group but you get to choose whether or not you're going to "listen" to others via the choice whether or not to read their posts.

I have read some, but didn't comment. Not sure what to say. Partly because the fact that i have an invasive cancer is formost in my mind.

If you're going to be truly successful at severe anxiety, you have to be unable to let something go. To give up control. I'm a master @ the not letting go... I've been continually mastering it for 52 years.

Ironically, the severe anxiety could play a big part as to why I have cancer in the first place.
There's plenty of studies out there these days that show the long term effects of stress & anxiety.

Again, an irony is how important a positive attitude is in conquering cancer. Tonight those negative voices are ahead in this long race. I'm trying not to listen.

Good thing I have medication to quiet those voices. Back to those shells.....

Image is mine