art and confidence

I'm falling down this hole again
and again
the questions will never stop
and then
I just need to paint
to find some silence
to find some peace

might be back? I'm not sure. I had some interesting past months, some selfdoubt, some questions for the future.
One of my main topics is: Will I ever have enough time to paint. More important: Will I ever find enough motivation to use my free time productively? Will I ever be good enough?

I need to find some peace with being invisible. With time I might reach out and create some community around me.
Right now I cannot concentrate on growing some digital numbers. I need to focus on growing for myself.