[HLC] Through the Clock Window

[CNN] Public Enemy fires Flavor Flav after dispute over Bernie Sanders rally

Mr. Public Enemy(s),

Good Day. Looking over the last year’s generated financial statements, our accounting staff has noticed a trend in band tardiness since Flavor Flav left the organization.

We’ve discussed this internally with the team. We’d like to suggest that Public Enemy LLC hire a personal assistant to keep track of time. If that isn’t a favorable option, hiring another rapper member(s) who likes clocks would solve the issue. Flavor Flav was very good at keeping the Public Enemy(s) on time.

As we discussed many previous times, any physical band member’s clock(s), used by any band member during official band business, must fit through a 2' by 2' window. All new clocks will be tested at our office.

Any clock not able to fit through the window WILL NOT BE endorsed by Public Enemy. All clocks must be approved before being used during official Public Enemy business. All members signed off on the agreement in clause 6, subsection B, of the 1993 summer rental clock argument business amendment.

Fixing this tardiness issue will increase your profits by 3.87%. It’s time to resolve this issue by acting on one of the many available options. Right now you’re losing money because you’re always late.

Sincerely,
Ben Manashevitiz, CPA
ACB Accountants Inc.

The story below was republished from HLC Issue 6F.
The published work above is fiction and satire.
Follow me on twitter.