Triggers:

Why don't we become the person we want to be?

Truth #1: Meaningful behavioral change is very hard to do

It's hard to initiate behavioral change, even harder to stay the course, hardest of all to make the change stick. Adult behavioral change is the most difficult thing for sentient human beings to accomplish. Answer these questions, treat it as food for thought:

1. What do you want to change in you life?
2. How long has this been going on?
3. How's that working out?

These three questions conform to the three problems we face in introducing change into our lives:

1. We can't admit that we need to change
2. We do not appreciate inertia's power over us, (given the choice, we prefer to do nothing)
3. We don't know how to execute a change, (we may be motivated, but lack the understanding and ability to design. vice versa)

the core idea here is to make us realize that our behavior is shaped, both positively and negatively, by our environment -- and that a keen appreciation of our environment can dramatically lift not only our motivation, ability, and understanding of the change process, but also our confidence that we can actually do it.

Truth #2: No one can make us change unless we truly want to change

Change has to come from within. It can't be dictated, demanded, or otherwise forced upon people. A man or woman who does not wholeheartedly commit to a change will never change.

If you want to be a better partner at home or a better manager at work, you not only have to change your ways, you have to get some buy-in from your partner or co-workers. Everyone around you has to recognize that you're changing, relying on other people increases the degree of difficulty exponentially, but relying on each other increases the degree of advancement.

An individual who actively resists help has maxed out professionally and personally.

What makes positive, lasting behavioral change so challenging -- and causes most of us to give up early in the game -- is that we have to do it in our imperfect world, full of triggers that may pull and push us off course. The good news is that behavioral change does not have to be complicated. Achieving meaningful and lasting change may be simple - simpler than we imagine, but simple is far from easy.

Goldsmith, Marshall. Triggers. Profile Books Ltd, 2016