Contradicting

Hi Steemians. I just want to reinstate my name and my agenda.

I'm John Christopher M. Deveza and I recently joined this community. My original goal was to learn new things, ideas from your blogs and express what I want to voice out (Ideally). However, things go sideways.

My wants suddenly turn into a need. The necessity of being able to produce. Not for myself but for someone I love. Despite of everything, I just want her to be okay. It's painful to see her suffer. Agonizing with pain and can't do anything.

At first, I wasn't able to visualize how she feels. The stress that she's been thinking and keeping with herself. Realizing that I'm enforcing those things, made me write this entry.

I was wrong that she's doing fine. That she's happy. When I saw her tears, my heart starts to ache. I felt I'm lacking as her King. I wasn't able to be her protector. Instead, I'm one of the contributor to her pain.

I'm writing this with my most modest intent to show her that I love her. I know, instead of writing, I should make my Queen feel how much I love her. (I should have). I understand that maybe, this was a junk for some of you. (I agree with that). However, the way she cries and she's still convincing me that she's not; I can say that this was my most sincere letter to show how much I love her.