Do you pretend or do you think you control everything? ...

I don't know what I want...! Recognizing it is fear of failure or of: *and if it happens? and I have to take care of it......?

People are so obsessed with saying that they started from the bottom, that they forget that the goal is to grow.

Asking for peace sounds very nice, mature, evolved. But let's dig into this a little bit. One of the most accurate indicators of a person's emotional maturity is how he reacts when someone contradicts him.

Because there are people who may be 40, 50 years old, titles, achievements, and the moment their partner expresses a disagreement to them, they get offended, shut down, punish with indifference or create a drama. And that reaction tells the story of someone who was never taught that being questioned and being attacked are two different things.

And why does it cost so much to be contradicted? Because deep down, many of us have learned to link disagreement with rejection: if you question me, I feel that you don't love me. And healing that implies understanding that the person who confronts you with respect is taking you seriously, is treating you as an adult capable of listening. Do you see it? It is that before judging, stopping for a moment can make a difference.

In the end, the strength of a bond is measured less by the cute moments and more by the quality of your disagreements.

What I'm talking about applies to everything, even in love, the same one that leads us to create emotional bonds with a few chosen individuals who offer us a safe haven from the storms of life.

Not all the processes that we consider anomalous, sickly, pathological, or simply bad, actually are. Many times, when we stop focusing on everything we think and take action, that's where we turn something very negative into something deeply positive.

There are some things that can't be completely controlled...

Sometimes we think we know someone by what we see, but each person carries an invisible suitcase full of stories, fears, losses, worries, and battles that are not always told. A dry response, a silence, a forced smile or a change of attitude can hide much more than we imagine.

Sometimes empathy doesn't change what the other person is going through, but it can change the way they go through it. Because each person carries something that we cannot see. That's why I think and from experience, that appearances can be deceiving. May the fear of making mistakes not postpone our life until the time to live no longer reaches…

Being alive involves risks and things that we do not control... let's not stop living even if we have to suffer. If we look at the floor... we will not be able to see the stars... and we will never enjoy what is there.

Janitze 🦋