GROWING

Growing with a preacher hasn't been easy
Being with friends made it easier
Praying daily became part of me
Until I asked and I didn't receive
Till I wanted and I couldn't get
I yearned for it but it was not within my reach
Gradually I began a journey of lost
An expedition to discover my self
I was trained in a Godly manner
In the severity of it
Carved to their satisfaction
So when it mattered most
Cause I lost fate,, I failed
I gave in to their battering
I gave in to their slandering
Cause I was a defined man
They questioned my purpose
Hit me with women I didn't see
But then I fell for one
She didn't want me,, I was too ugly
She didn't like me,, I was to Godly
Alleged celibate,, he is too holy
The journey of self discovery has been tough
Stringent rules I could either bend to or lose to
Building confidence is exciting
A prayer for beauty is more intriguing
I wade with the wolfs,,
While they move in pack,,
I followed suit,, a dove
Devoid of beauty but filled with calm
Devoid of strength but Pure
Gradually I began to succumb
To their will,, to their desires
We raid in the night,, all for survival
We pray not,, God is our rival
We hope for a fool that grace the street
To unleash our horror on em
I know someday,, I would be missed
By those I want,, someday I would be loved
But then,, I have made lots of wrong
I hope someday it would be expunged
Success is not far way,,
Its a days journey,, at most two
I'm preparing myself not to become a different man
I'm here,,,