Alcoholism
There was a good analysis on YouTube basically just saying the whole thing is about a struggle with alcoholism. Which i Highkey vibe with cos when you are drinking heavily it is often with this sense of trying to reach some kind of feeling, some kind of great epiphany. Of trying to see the light, so to speak. But there is nothing to reach except oblivion. And your fate is not dissimilar to being pecked at by gulls for eternity. Except it is self inflicted. Constantly abusing onesself over and over in the hopes of seeing the light.
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