I'm Enough

Sometimes, I let you in. I open my heart and bring you closer. Yet, as soon as you start to believe I’m “okay” , “normal” or “good”, I pull away.

Sometimes, I disappear. I close my heart and push you away. Yet, as soon as you start to believe I’m “not okay”, “not normal” or “not good”, I pull you back in.

Up and Down.

You just never know for sure.

You just can’t figure me out.

Is it me? Is it you?

Deep down you know that I care. Deep down you know that I’m struggling.

Yet, being a friend of mine demands so much.

Those who have experienced “the light” tend to have more patience and can seemingly withstand “the dark”, yet we all have our limits.

Nothing is guaranteed.

Sigh.

I’m just so tired of hurting people.

I’m tired of making excuses.

Life is speeding by even faster now…

It’s been 15 years of toxic thinking and…

And, I’m just so tired of being this way.

I’m just so tired of thinking this way.

What we think, we become.

In order to become a good friend, I have to be my own good friend.

I have to love myself.

I’m enough.

As I am in this moment, I’m enough.

Yes, I can be better. But there’s no point just waiting for and thinking about the future.

There’s no point waiting for and thinking about a moment when I’ll I feel “good enough”.

Because, what if that time never comes?

And, what about now?

Life’s a journey. A continuous process where improvement will always be possible.

We’ll never reach “perfect”.

So, why wait?

Why, push and pull?

Why not just be?