The Last One on My Own List #294

There are three things pulling at me daily and only one of them ever goes without. I am not talking about work, not even family. It is always me.

Over eight months ago, just like on a Sunday like this, I noticed this pattern. After church service, I had spent the rest of the day helping my younger brother with a task. Then my cousin arrived with an assignment too, followed by an urgent work call from a friend that we work together with that I could have easily ignored till Monday to attend to. At ten pm, I was already tired with nothing left inside me and I remember that I had a plan that I should have done for myself during the day. At that moment I was even struggling to put what the plan was together to see if I can do something.

One of the things I have seen, heard and leaned in my life is the people use the word “balance” a lot, but deep down the balance doesn't actually sit still long enough to be balanced. And one thing I have been keeping up doing is that I move it in circles. This week, I give most to the family. Next week, work takes the best. And myself? Well, I always put myself in-between what is left and I see it as rest.

Learning to always protect one small thing daily has been what shifted slightly. Not a big routine though. Just doing one small thing that actually belongs to me alone before my day starts. Doing something genuine for thirty minutes that does not belong to anyone else but me.

Sometimes, this still goes wrong. But one thing that I am now aware of is that when is dissaperd from my own life, I notice. Though me taking note is something not huge, but to me it is everything. It's like calling myself back home.

Thank you for reading.

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