The thing I’ve been told

The thing, I’ve been told, looks a bit like a fish with skirts and spoilers. Something long thought extinct from the annals of street racing. Man, if you squint with these glasses, the sun becomes a flattened disc. The problem with being dead is there’s nothing to eat.

By measuring the depth of penetration with a rod or needle, we can determine the consistency or hardness of my TA’s ingratitude.