Trying Again.

They say it does not matter how many times you fall but rather how many times you get up. I have tried to get back into writing so many times now and I just cannot manage to find the motivation. Even my academic work has hit a hiatus. But I am constantly trying to get back up, standing up a little more each time.

It is funny how quickly momentum can shift. For a while, I just kept jumping, I did not allow things to phase me. But then you hit a wall - you get a rejection slip, a failure to find funding, and so on. (These are inherently part of the job and life, and they did not affect me personally.) But the problem is that it breaks momentum, and when momentum breaks, the whole house of cards tumble into itself.

The smallest statement can pull you down.

And then getting back onto the horse becomes a mission in and of itself, not even completing the task at hand, just getting back up.

But here I am again, hoping to find inspiration, hoping to arrive at the pre-AI era confidence, and to begin to build further on the project that started all those years ago.

For even though I am not writing, the ideas are bursting through the thin wall that desperately tries to keep them hidden.

This level of saturation is something I have not yet felt in years. Usually my workflow is to read and read until I hit a level of saturation where I cannot help but write. After AI this has become a problem. I am more reluctant to share my writing.

But here I am. Trying to share my world again. Fermentation. Porosity. Philosophy. Photography. The whole lot.

All of the writing is my own, no form of AI was used to engender these thoughts besides the fact that someone opened pandora's box. The photograph is my own.