Beware of Boxes!

Aren't definitions a wonderful thing?

They help us sort out and categorize things into neat little boxes that makes it easier for us to navigate life on a daily basis. Republican, Democrat, introvert, extravert, recluse, social butterfly, narcissist, autist, Christian, atheist... we have seemingly endless lists of pre-packaged attributes that we can put neat labels on.

I'll be the first to admit that I do use these fairly extensively, at least as a coarse sort that helps me figure out the meanings of certain things.

The problem seems to arise when people start identifying with their labels too much and forget one of the fundamental truths I was taught by somebody I knew a long time ago and whose opinions I quite respected: "A label is like a map, but it is not the actual territory."

As I said, the use of labels can be extremely useful in helping us understand ourselves and where we fit in life... but never forget that we are all individual human beings and so much more than a simple definition.

Sadly, when people start identifying too strongly with their labels we end up with a situation where the label becomes like an iron box into which we pack ourselves, and everything outside the box becomes suspect and potentially even an enemy.

If you look around at daily culture here in the USA just consider how something like the MAGA movement offers a definition and sense of belonging to lots of people but if you're not inside the MAGA box you're "part of the problem; you're the enemy. A whole bunch of people are simply "excluded" from their awareness.

I see similar things take place within the field of psychology where people take certain definitions onto themselves and their entire self-identity becomes this definition. Take a topic like having ADHD — which I know quite a bit about because I am afflicted thusly — but there are lots of people who don't just use that as a piece of information (that might help them make life easier) instead they embrace it and use it as justification for everything they do, and as reasons for why people should treat them "special" and shouldn't get frustrated with them.

When I consider the way people behave with boxes and how they self identify with boxes I realize that what we're probably dealing with here is less about understanding whatever label you are taking to yourself and more about feeling a sense of belonging. We humans tend to be social animals and we want to be part of a group with others that are both similar to us and also understand what we're going through.

I experienced quite a few of those sorts of feelings when I was in my 20s and 30s, when I was a keen student of psychology and self-development and always felt a great sense of kinship when I figured out that I "belonged in a certain category." But once the novelty wore off I realized that everybody who was in the category was actually unique and different and we all just happened to have one trait in common.

Boxes can definitely be useful... but don't take them too seriously!

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great Friday!

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2026.07.24 01:18 PDT
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