Living inside a volcano sucks.

Dear minions,

Living inside volcano isn't as cool as it sounds. If you're thinking about investing in real estate, think twice before buying a volcano.

First of all, think about the giant staircase you'll have to build to get up the hill and how annoying it will be if you get all the way down and realize you forgot your car keys.

Second of all, you can't really have a proper moat because alligators don't like swimming in molten lava. You might think they do because playing Super Mario Brothers all the turtles seemed to enjoy it, but that's fiction. In real life, alligators and turtles prefer a more laid-back lifestyle.

Third of all, volcanos are stupid. You can just fall inside and plummet to your death. It can cause a lot of really inconvenient paperwork and supervillains really hate paperwork.

Fourth of all, think of the air conditioning bill...

I don't know, what do you think? Would you buy a volcano?