Today's dream: My dad was dead

For some reason I was so convinced it was true. I was crying in my dream and all I remember is finding out, thinking about it and just grieving against a wall.

And then I woke up to a message he just sent in the family group saying he was gonna be away all week on a work trip.

Some thoughts about mortality

I've been worrying about my family's mortality ever since I decided to move out. I haven't done it but the thought of doing it makes me think that maybe I'll never see them again, or will see them again when they're so old that I'll be surprised about their changes. I don't even recognize myself sometimes when I do things to my hair/clothes/etc., so I imagine one day I may see the same thing with them.

My grandparents are all old, well past the normal life expectancy, even for their siblings, all gray, wrinkly and prone to illness. I know they'll be dying soonish. My parents are getting old. Soon they'll enter the same stage my grandparents are in. Many people in my family died middle-aged, so my parents are also approaching the higher end of their life expectancy.

I fear their death much more than I fear my own. I had never dreamt they were dead. I instead dreamt that a beloved uncle who died was back alive, and we talk about him being dead lol.

And now my dad is away, haven't seen him today, may not see him for a week. This is lame and sad.