What Even Has Happened to Me

What even has happened to me
is not a question I can answer in daylight.
The night speaks, but hasn't for a while now.
This crucifix hangs in the city of no bother,
and the night hangs behind me without weight.

Photo by Simon Hurry on Unsplash

Funny, I chose this life,
when held to my last breath.

I cannot lose myself,
because something else is already doing it for me.
The chase has been grueling. I can walk at night,
but I am afraid I will see him,
when the hunger gets to me,
and deep into the relish,
when my senses continue to fade,
for days, and this time, for weeks.

I learn the silence between footsteps
is louder than the sound of them.