QUARTRAINIUM 117: "Where did my cat go?"

"WHERE DID MY CAT GO!", screamed a shut-in, in the night, as the hipsters of Broadway walk on towards the next bar, the next drink. Cats go missing, and the emerald city charlatans pretend "it's a cause" - sorry ... it's a symptom. Mayor Miraculous and the sub-continent-marxist will ensure that some new "cat tax" or "coffee-cat-tax" or "cigarette-and-soda-and-coffee-cat-tax" will be passed - and this will be helpful, somehow, in getting back this poor man or woman's feline ... where did it go? ... Ask yourself this, "is your cat food?" ...

The Orangutan King has moved his bishop to Whales, and his queen to Persia. Sabers rattle, soldiers tensely grip their war hammers, and the generals plan this coming epoch conflagration; no one is left in this to say "no". "Tehran is doing terrible shit!", shrieks the neocon whores from the underground dwellings where mole people live. No light, no air, no sense of direction, and an empire walks slowly into the abyss.

Cheryl is angling for your job ...

Cheryl pretends to be helpful, but she is going to report you for sexual harassment - which is funny, because you are a eunuch (by choice, cis-eunuch) and are a-sexual. So, all of this is a confusing mess - and the thing YOU need to know is NO ONE will take your side in this SJW battle. But worry not - Cheryl has a nasty STD, and this will work in your favor!

Magic numbers for today: { 92, 95, 98, 99 }

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