The Floating Breakfast

While this does not appear to be a toilet tale and is not suitable for Hive account@livinguktaiwan's LooLoo community, you will need to read it all to understand why it is.

We are in Thassos, Greece and our hotel gave us the option of a 'Floating Breakfast'. While being a little impractical, especially for short-arses like my wife Hive account@bingbabe, it was still taxing for me to enjoy the feast standing in a pool that's 1.4M deep all around.

For taller people such as Hive account@steevc and/or Hive account@revisesociology this would have been far more enjoyable.

Speaking of such things, it was quite so until the local wasp population figured out what was on offer and joined in. Now, I no longer go bananas and freak out when a wasp buzzes around me like the defacto standard Englishman, but they could have waited until we had finished.

So rude...

So now let me explain why this is a toilet tale, and also why this particular hotel has something in common with Japanese culture.

Something in that cacophony of a floating feast made me rush to the shitter rather quickly on completion. While I will spare you the visual details, you can see quite plainly the accessories on show.

One of them appears to be an arse-washer, and given the fact there's the mandatory silver brush used to rid ourselves of those 'pebbledash' situations, I can only conclude this spray device is one.

Press the button, hold it toward your arsehole and press. What a wonderful idea and so hygienic.

All we need now is a fast-drying bum accessory and all those paper-smudging days will be behind us.