One Reason (An Open Letter)

Image from: @janeloi

There are times I ask myself, are we okay? Is everything really fine?
Are things going smoothly? Or do we just ignore anything around us and bury
those thoughts in our unconscious mind?

Is it wrong to believe that everything will just pass by, and one day,
things will turn out right? Because deep in my heart, I know, we cannot run
away from the reality. Someday, everything should be faced and ignoring it
continually will never be a help.

It's like I entered a chaotic life where my peaceful mind cannot find its
place. I hate the times when I feel like giving up. I hate the times when I
think soon I wanna end things up and return to my previous life. A life
wherein everything was so simple back then and nothing bothers me, nor
worries me.

I keep on trusting you. I keep on believing in everything you say. I keep it
all within me. Yes I do. but what I cannot keep is a promise that I can
stay like this for a long time. I am waiting for the assurance for so long.
The assurance where all your words will be brought into reality. The assurance
which I know I don't have the right to ask from you.

Who am I? I shouldn't expect a lot. I should know my place and where to stand.
I shouldn't be selfish. I shouldn't be demanding.
I shouldn't be like this. For now, what I can say is that I don't know where
will this gonna lead us to. Until when can I patiently wait for something I'm
not sure to happen. But whatever happens, I'm sure it is God's will. I'm
certain on one reason why I keep on enduring this. One reason: I love you.