Cold inside

It's cold outside

and sometimes I have to be cold with you

to cope with the true persona when you awaken 

is it your true persona?

or do you just want me cold with the breeze of a distance

sometimes the best I can be is just here in existence

my goals are just to make it 

to gain some sort of routine where I breathe without my heart racing

without wondering if your footsteps behind me will be followed by an unsound

accusation

what have I done for you lately?

what have I done?

I am just stepping forward onto stones of age trying not to trip over myself

I am just trying to be a version of myself I can be proud of

And yes I fail, I fail often and I fail again.

I move on and I wake awake with a new day 

a new sunrise hitting my backside and I try again

This is how I am

Will you look at me?

And if you do will you really see?

that I am just a human crawling toward normalcy

Because I can only write when I am angry

So I Thank you 

Enjoy the coffee