I hate my birthdays

image by me

I don't actually hate my birthday thou, i hate everything that my birthday reminds me of, it a reminder that I have very little friends.
A reminder that many people who I constantly think about will forget to text me.
A reminder that if I want a party I need to plan it, I'll also have to text people to invite them to said party and then reply to their text when they respond they can't be there.
A reminder that I am a year older and still not closer to knowing what I want to do with my life.
A reminder that my mom will call and pray for me that I will have a good husband and won't settle with a problem.
A reminder that I'm still navigating my acquaintances and career.
A reminder of every single thing that had gone wrong in my life.
I spend the weeks leading to my birthday dreading it and stressing out, and the day of my birthday sulking up or crying because my birthday reminds me of everything I try to forget year round.
But this year I decide to make affirmations instead cause today is a gift and I won't take it for granted, I am loved and worthy of love.
I will leave everyone I come in contact with today better than I found them.
My faith will outwork my doubts, i own my feelings, they do not own me.
When people see me today they will see God shinning through me, he will supply my needs and will give me vision he have placed in my heart to make me great.
Anxiety, fear or worry won't consume me no matter what happens, God will work everything out for good.
Happy birthday to me, Say me a prayer 🙏 and make me smile
Thank you for reading