A reflections to a life lessons.

In my 21 years of existence in this world, I already have experience a life just as a roller coaster ride, in which I was in a situations wherein different things happened in my life. Sometimes I go up, I go up in which I celebrated my small achievements and making myself happy as I thought I deserved. Sometimes I go down, I go down in which I am in a situation wherein I am losing myself in the process I have created.

Growing with my grandparents taught me a lot of lessons. My grandmother always told me to be kind to other people, always told me to share what I have, and always told me to learn how to respect as well as to love other people, because my grandmother believes that if you are treating other people really well, they will also treat you the same. My grandfather taught me how to be wise, told me that not all the people that surrounds me is good to me, sometimes they will just take advantage the kindness that I give, but he highlighted that, it is okay to have friends but I have to always remember to choose my friends wisely and do not give everything that I have. These two important persons in my life gives me lessons that had my marked in my head as I grew older.

As I am growing, I didn't notice that I only applied what my grandmother have told me, and I have never insert those things that my grandfather have said. Not until I was in a situation where I became so giving, understanding, loving, and caring. I have never realized that I was abusing myself for someone. I was trying to make myself blind so I could not notice what they are doing. I am trying to save them and putting their broken pieces and trying to fix it, but not knowing that while I am trying to fix that person, I was trying to break myself.

2 AM in the morning and I am wide awake, sleepless nights, heavy thoughts, and a lot of questions running through my head. I am trying to reflect about something. Asking myself, why I did not choose to wise? Why did I let myself got broken into pieces? Who would fix me? Tears are starting to fall with a lot of thoughts, why being a nice person always got hurt? why is it even though we are showing good things we are reciprocated with betrayal and lies? how can we forgive them?, those questions was running over and over through my mind, because it is really painful when you are betrayed by someone who you trust the most, but as I am growing I let it all slipped away, because I do not have something to do with it anymore.

At this point in my life, I am now always bringing the lessons that my grandfather gave me, but I am still doing what my grandmother have told me, but again I am now being WISE.