A bit of humor

Getting old The robot vacuum cleaner goes after me and all the time picks up something ..

Finally found a man who does not mind what I drink in the morning. Thank you, bartender! ..

"We are not so close that I weigh in before you," my wife told me ..

If you weigh 100 kg on Earth, then on Mars it is only 38 kg. You're not fat, you're just not on that planet ..

District clinic looks like a pirate island. One-legged and one-eyed look, as someone digs up your card ..

And the sponsor of this evening is work for food. Work for food - instead of a thousand - plov ..

The water cycle in nature, this is when you wash the car, the water from it evaporates, turns into a cloud and the next day, bitch, it rains! ..

When a man at the bus stop asked what year it is today, I wanted to live here just as easily and easily ..

I want a salad, and only I make vegetables from the house ..

Today I am some kind of impudent and desperate. It would be manta - wet it! ..

I still can not understand how the pigeons manage to crap the white car with black and the black with white ..

Oleg once ran out of the sauna, said "Guys, I'm in the wood" and jumped into a snowdrift. It was firewood sprinkled with snow. Since then, he has the nickname Nostradamus ..

When grandma says: “I poured borsch for you, you can put sour cream on yourself”, this is a trap. There is no place for sour cream ..

In a woman I should be, and not some mystery there! ..