Too Old To Feel This Disaffected

They made me just as A.D.D. as you
For years I was never that way
It doesn’t matter now
The war has been lost

The war was metaphysical
For no one wins in physical conflicts
The truth was so subliminal
Now it has reached the surface
It’s too little too late

I am not a human being
I don’t deserve to call myself one
With all the ancestors that fought for my existence
I’m shitting on them every day

So what is this?
What is my life?
Where am I?
The same place I’ve always been

I was once right
Then I became wrong
And didn’t look back
I fell into the same trap

I just wanted peace of mind
And that’s precisely why I can’t find it
To sift through all the lies
Still no real movement’s ignited

It’s all been recited
They’re funding both sides ‘n’
I bet they’re delighted
I found no courage to fight it

This monkey on my back
Does nothing for me
All I ever wanted
Was to be free

But does it really matter
When everything is shattered?
I have lost my way
I’ve drug myself down again

Cemented
Defective
I thought it would be
Subjective

The lies they melt my eyes
On the brink I cannot think
Losing the solidarity
That I created
I’m back as a wage slave
Being berated

I feel jaded
And there isn’t shit you can do to help me
But I have to realize
That somehow I created this reality
And I can withdraw from it
And I can withdraw from it

But I need a plan
A plan
I’ve been so terrible at plans
I’ve been terrible at meeting inhumane demands

There’s no truth to decipher
I guess I’m a lifer
It’s not what I wanted
My mind is eternally haunted