ifs Tag Posts Index

My Actifit Report Card: July 18 2024

Heard the birds out early and went out to find, in the end, the stepper motor controller died, would only take less than 7 volts. So new ones will be here tomorrow

My Actifit Report Card: July 1 2024

As much as I bitch about the rain the morning after fog is awesome. I grew up with fog and learned to love it. The storms today kept the temps perfect. Had IFS session,

Springtime Weather, Storage, UK Open, IFS, Fire, Grilling, Snow - Friday

In true Spring fashion yesterday morning started out with some sunshine making it past the clouds and giving the farm a bit of a glow. It didn't last too long though

What do you do when your upset turns to anger towards your therapist? I feel I don’t want to see him again as ill get upset again. I want to give up.

I think you write down the feelings, let yourself feel them, and then when you go to your next session you let your therapist know how you’re feeling, including

Are there issues in your life, seemingly, unbearable/unsustainable? Are you actively working on these particular issues, in therapy, or holding back?

This answer is very much colored by having already spent several hours in Internal Family Systems training. So one of my issues is that I feel this very visceral

Should a psychodynamic therapist hold back, reveal very little, refrain from offering reassurance and provide little validation? Must a client endure the painful reenactment, in order to heal the oldest wounds?

Maybe if the client enjoys being tortured. Even then, not a good idea. Some clients self harm. Doesn't mean the therapist should encourage it. If your therapist

Does your family and friends know about severity of your mental health problems? How to explain to them your struggels if all the time you were trying to hide the depth of your problems to everyone even to therapist?

I’m taking it slowly as far as telling friends and family about my mental health problems and the extent to which they have shaped my life. I’m pretty transparent

If we end our psychodynamic psychotherapy prematurely, is our therapist permitted to show sadness? The client/patient might wish for some display. Should a therapist’s personal feelings remain hidden, even then?

I think this is one of those questions where the answer is so client dependent that there isn’t one right answer. I’ll answer it for myself but my answer won’t

If I have transference & my therapist has counter transference, then does that often mean termination of therapy & my T will refer me to someone else?

I’m a client so I would give more weight to any answers provided by therapists on this matter. Transference from the client towards the therapist should not be a

What do therapists do when they don't want a client anymore?

The good ones would process those feelings in a healthy way and get to work. There is no “I don't like the client anymore so therefore I will dump her" option.

If we cannot fully internalize the psychotherapeutic relationship, even though we love our therapist, should we step away? Or, is this reason enough for remaining in therapy indefinitely?

It doesn’t necessarily have to be either one of those scenarios. The best place to begin is by sharing your concerns with your therapist. Talk to him about how you

Can we be fixated on changing our therapist, all while enjoying normal and healthy relationships outside of therapy? Is this near obsession likely the maternal transference, or something else?

If you are feeling fixated on changing your therapist, then I would recommend you speak to your therapist about that. There is something coming up for you in that

Why do people abuse and abandon narcissists instead of have compassion and love them completely?

I can appreciate the compassion behind asking this question. And I think that like anyone else narcissists deserve quality mental health care which would include

What are your thoughts if your psychodynamic therapist says “we could be great friends”? I assume he means if circumstances were different. I realize it will never actually happen. He has always been appropriate so I’m not concerned about that.

Since we humans are relational creatures the point of therapy is to help us have better relationships. We usually enter therapy having suffered from relationship

In therapy, how should we begin the mourning process for the death of a parent? The relationship was a most difficult one. We dread unearthing a slew of complex emotions.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to approach this in therapy. I think you work with whatever is coming up in a given session. One thing to know about

For long-term therapy clients/patients, those working solely with one therapist, would you consider ending this alliance? In what circumstances might you begin a new therapeutic relationship?

I’m not currently entertaining any thoughts about ending my therapeutic alliance but it has been discussed between us fairly recently. When I began to understand

My therapist asked me to imagine my emotionally neglectful father being everything I needed him to be in order for me to heal. I can’t do this. Is this necessary for me to heal or can I try something else? I feel like don’t need a fairytale!

I want to help you take a step or two back from this situation and look at it from a certain perspective that I think might be helpful to try out. One thing to keep

Is it possible that a therapist (unconsciously) reacts bad to the fact that he knows that a client is going to be a therapist too (this client = me and I never talk like a "no-it-all" - I obviously don't..)?

It’s certainly possible in the sense that anything like that is possible when there are humans involved! Assuming that you are working with a competent therapist,

For any client who writes in the various therapy spaces on Quora, do you ever feel like the time might be better spent working on your own therapy? I won't be coy, I sometimes do.

This is my way of working on my own therapy! When I've gained a lot of insight and achieved a lot of growth in between sessions from sharing my experiences with

Is there any kind of therapy that incorporates counselling with touch? I’m desperately touch-starved and need more than my psychologist can offer. I need some kind of therapy where I can be hugged or at least have my hand held.

I did not think there was, and would be inclined to point out the problems associated with things like hugs and other forms of touch in therapy that others have