dadjowke Tag Posts Index

I've ran out of bog roll.

So instead I've been using old financial newspapers. The Times are rough... (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily

Apocalypse?

Someone just drove past me in a tractor shouting "The times are nigh!" I think it was farmer geddon. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by

Singing in the shower

My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall by Oasis in the shower. I said maybe. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more

Wifey text me

All she said was one word, "Earth"... It meant the world to me. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily jokes!

I just went for a job interview

When I got there I filled my water glass until it overflowed. "Nervous?" asked the interviewer, "No" I replied, "I always give 110%"

My wife left me

She was seeing another man who just so happened to be deaf. Looking back, I should have seen the signs. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday)

I found a note this morning...

...saying someone is trying to kill my calendar. I feel like its days are numbered. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more

Robbed.

I was mugged by 6 dwarves the other night... ... not happy. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily jokes!

What do you call...

...a group of hairdressers waiting for food by the fire? A barbercue. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily jokes!

Memorable thief?

The guy who stole my diary just died... ...My thoughts are with his family. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily

Life advice...

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, She gave me a hug. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily jokes!

When i was a young boy...

... my teacher told me I'd never be good at poetry because I was dyslexic. The jokes on her, I make ceramic vases and jugs for a living now. (Images & Text:

Vegan?

What's the most effective way to give up being a vegan? Cold turkey. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily jokes!

What sounds...

like a sneeze and is made from leather? A shoe! (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily jokes!

Our mate...

Who can drink 2 litres of petrol? Jerry can. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily jokes!

How do you...

... cut an ocean in two? Use a sea-saw. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily jokes!

My mother always used to say...

...the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Lovely woman; terrible surgeon. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more

Did I tell you about the band?

Me and my friends have started a band called Duvet... ...we're a cover band. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily

Stephen King has a son named Joe...

... I'm not joking, but he is. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily jokes!

Are you...

...addicted or severely afraid of seaweed? If so, you should sea kelp. (Images & Text: Designed and edited by @dadjok3oftheday) Follow us for more daily jokes!